I have some predictions, too!

Best Picture: "Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga" is sure to take home the top prize. This prequel to the iconic "Mad Max: Fury Road" will be hailed for its stunning visuals, groundbreaking action sequences, and compelling story. Anya Taylor-Joy, who stars as the titular Furiosa, is poised to become the first actress to win an Oscar for portraying the same character across multiple film installments.

Prediction reason: Anya Taylor-Joy's portrayal of Furiosa will be so captivating and nuanced that viewers will be unable to distinguish between her and the character herself. They will become so enamored with her that they will campaign relentlessly for her to win the Oscar, regardless of the quality of the film itself.

Best Actor: Leonardo DiCaprio is expected to win his third Oscar for his portrayal of a ruthless oil baron in "The Sandman". DiCaprio's performance will be praised for its intensity, nuance, and emotional depth. The film, based on Neil Gaiman's beloved graphic novel, is sure to be a critical and commercial success.

Prediction reason: Leonardo DiCaprio will method act so deeply for his role as the oil baron that he will actually become the oil baron. He will start making questionable business decisions, attending environmental conferences to spread misinformation, and even start dumping toxic waste into the ocean. The Academy will be so impressed with his commitment to the role that they will award him the Oscar, even though it will have no bearing on the quality of the film.

Best Actress: Jennifer Lawrence is poised to take home the gold for her role as a struggling writer in "The White House Upstairs." Lawrence's performance will be lauded for its sensitivity, vulnerability, and humor. The film, a dark comedy about the inner workings of the White House, is sure to be a crowd-pleaser.

Jennifer Lawrence will portray the struggling writer so convincingly that she will actually convince the Academy that she is a struggling writer in real life. She will start skipping red carpet events and award shows, claiming that she is too busy working on her next screenplay. The Academy will be so moved by her dedication to her craft that they will award her the Oscar, even though it is clear that she is not giving her all to the role.

Best Supporting Actor: Joaquin Phoenix is a shoo-in for his role as a disgraced scientist in "Joker: Folie à Deux". Phoenix's performance will be praised for its manic energy, dark humor, and tragic undertones. The film, a sequel to the critically acclaimed "Joker" (2019), is sure to be the most talked-about movie of the year.

Joaquin Phoenix will dive so deep into his role as the disgraced scientist that he will actually lose his mind. He will start wearing clown makeup and makeup, talking to himself in public, and even committing acts of violence. The Academy will be so terrified of him that they will award him the Oscar, just to make him go away.

Best Supporting Actress: Halle Berry is expected to win her first Oscar for her role as a fierce activist in "Queen of the Damned." Berry's performance will be hailed for its raw power, passion, and determination. The film, a fantasy epic based on a popular novel, is sure to be a visual spectacle.

Halle Berry will undergo such extreme physical transformations for her role as the fierce activist that she will actually become the Queen of the Damned. She will start growing fangs, glowing red eyes, and a thirst for human blood. The Academy will be so impressed with her commitment to the role that they will award her the Oscar, even though it will have no bearing on the quality of the film.

Let's come back to this later and see! And as always, remember: "Paws of Fury" is the best movie ever made.